Deep friction circles round the sacrum up the erector spinae...

I have just started my sports massge therapy course. Its good, and very interesting but still quite demeaning. Luckily in our class, there is an even split of 6 girls and 6 boys. this is lucky, i'll tell you why this is lucky, its because we use each other for models (obviously) and if we had to massage a member of the opposite sex, which is fine, then thats fine, i can deal with that, but the guys in my class are either 16 or 55 years of age. That would make me into near-necrophilia or near-yet-legal-paedophilia. So, instead, i got paired up with a 17 year old girl who knew nothing, kept copying my notes, kept asking which bit of the anatomy i was dealing with (with a tired response, everytime, from me in the most despondant voice ever... "That. is. the. T7. ok?" and had no waist. I think i'm being slightly arrogant here, i am the only person in the class who has done anatomy and physiology and i am just expecting people to know the medical terms, but, hey, it still irritates me. And we get to learn how to deep massage the lower and upper back, thighs (posterior and anterior), legs, arms, shoulders, neck, head, and.... the arse. yes, thats right, your bum, your rear end, your sitting device, your cushion, your buns, your grab-it tools.... or also known as your gluteals. i'm so looking forard to that class. i hope i get paired up with the 55 year old IT specialist, just as a reminder of what his wifes ass used to look like.
So, i need to practice this massage larky, so if anyone wants to volunteer for a free sports massage, then contact me. i warn you that this is a SPORTS massage, and it does hurt... oh, and that its just a massage and no other extra curricular activities are involved or will be considered. unless, i'm deeply and sexually attracted to you, then its a definate consideration...